Tuesday, August 20, 2013


Today at work my mind was racing. I was thinking about things my counselor and I talked about yesterday and thinking about my assignment for the #StartExp:

Today’s task is to let go of at least one failure. Get out your pen, get out your journal and write it down. It’s over, and I don’t want you to let it control. Fear always wants you to give your present to your past until you don’t have a future. Let it go.

I realized one fear I had really had nothing to do with the writing I was doing. I had a major fear that the counseling wouldn't work. I have been in counseling before, made progress and then seemingly "failed". The truth is I didn't fail - I quit. I didn't see it through. I didn't see it as a long term commitment. I realized how afraid I had been to stop protecting the little girl inside me and allow her to feel, allow her to hurt, allow her to grieve.


All of the sudden.

It hit me.

I knew what I was supposed to write about. 

On my next break I sat at my computer and started typing furiously.  I ended up typing an introduction that grabbed my attention, I found my voice. God brought it all together - the work I'm doing in counseling is DIRECTLY related to this #StartExp. It is no accident I saw Jon Acuff's blog asking for people willing to take a risk, to step outside their comfort zone and that I filled out that form. No - it was no accident at all... it was God's Providence. God knew all along that I needed this push to find my voice, to let this healing begin. I sat and wrote tonight - I wrote 999 words (the guidelines for the place I'm submitting is 500-1000 words). It is a draft. A rough draft. But, it is only day nine and God is bringing things together and all I can say is I am grateful, so very grateful.

With Gratitude,


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