When I turned my calendar at the end of January, February 13th-14th stared me in the face. Last year on February 13th David and I went to see Tim McGraw in concert and then we had plans for dinner on February 14th. Our plans on the 14th were canceled when he had to go into work, but it was still a great Valentine's weekend together. I was dreading these 2 days at the beginning of the month... worried about being flooded with memories of last year, my first year with a sweetheart on Valentine's Day... worried about thinking how this would have been/should have been our first Valentine's Day as a married couple... worried about being so sad and lonely.
However, here it is... and instead of thinking about what would have been, what should have been, instead of being sad and lonely, I am at peace. Yesterday I received a lovely bouquet of flowers from a dear friend with a note saying she hoped I have a great week and "God loves you and so do I" Today I had a wonderful day at church with my amazing church family. I have been surrounded by people who love me and care about me, people who have been a source of encouragement and blessing in my greatest time of need.
I watched Good Will Hunting yesterday. One of the quotes really struck my heart:
I loved David more than I've ever loved anyone... I loved him more than I loved myself. I cared more about his well being than my own. I experienced true loss when he ended our relationship. Instead of being overwhelmed with sadness when I heard this quote, I realized that I deserve to have someone love me that way. David loved me as much as he could, I believe he still loves me. And I continue to pray for him and love and care for him.
- But, I am at peace knowing that right now, today, David can't love me like that.
- I am at peace knowing that God loves me more than I can possibly imagine - He gave His own Son for me.
- I am at peace knowing that God has given me absolutely amazing friends.
- I am at peace knowing that I am loved.