Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Faith not Feelings: Reflections on 28 Years Since my Rebirth

Little did my parents know when they gave me the middle name of Renée how truly prophetic they were being. On August 1, 1985, at the age of 16 I was reborn when I accepted God's free Gift of Life through Jesus Christ. This is a picture of the Bible Study group of counselors at the Y-Camp where I received this great gift. I actually prayed with one of the gals (Amy - in the Mickey Mouse sweatshirt) on one of the benches at the back of this outdoor chapel just behind where we were standing) This isn't the morning it happened - but one of the mornings after our EARLY morning Bible Study. I actually WILLINGLY got up and went to this Bible Study at 6:00 a.m. and anyone who knows me KNOWS that I am NOT a morning person. It was a definite God-thing that I was compelled to go and learn more about the Lord - but the actual story of my coming to faith is for another day.

Today I want to talk about some reflections - as I realized this birthday was coming up I was thinking about writing some "happy-happy" blog about how great life has been the past 28 years. However, tonight as I look back I am not feeling great. I am actually FEELING really down. Truth be told - I hate my life right now. I am not happy. I am struggling. I am hurting. I am grieving. This has all got me thinking... a sort of "crisis of faith" This has caused me to question - where is my faith?

As I've thought, reflected, and prayed I realized one major thing - on that day, 28 years ago I did not place my faith in a feeling - I placed my faith in the Person of Jesus Christ...

My faith is not in how I am feeling right now, my faith is in Jesus - this is what I hang my hat on, NO MATTER HOW I FEEL.

One of my favorite verses right after I became a believer was Galatians 2:20 and it remains one of my favorite verses today:

THIS is what matters today. How I feel doesn't matter. How I feel today is temporary - What is enduring is WHO Jesus is. One thing is as true today as it was 28 years ago when I first came to faith - JESUS IS THE SAME. He has not changed... and should the Lord tarry another 28, 56, or 128 years even - HE WILL STILL BE THE SAME. He will NEVER change. His love is constant, never-changing, unending, everlasting, HIS LOVE WILL NEVER FAIL.

  • I am thankful today for God reaching out to me with His love and grace and not giving up on me in spite of my stubbornness err... I mean determined attitude.
  • I am thankful for my friend Tara who shared the Gospel with me in word and action.
  • I am thankful for the counselors at the Y-Camp who showed God's love to me and taught me of His truth.
  • I am thankful for my friend Amy who prayed with me that morning to receive Christ's Great Gift of Life.
  • I am thankful for my first church family - my beloved Pastor Paul and the rest of Laura Street Baptist Church for showing me such amazing love and what God's family is all about.
  • I am thankful for my numerous friends through the years who have been shining examples of God's love and grace.
  • I am thankful for my current church family at Grace who have loved me despite my being pretty unlovable much of the time.
  • I am thankful today for my counselor who reminded me today that when I am at the end of myself God will meet me there and that God truly is a Father to the fatherless.
In spite of how hurting and broken I am today - God is God and He has not changed. I am thankful that my Faith is in the Lord and not in my feelings.

With Gratitude and Faith,


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