"Why are you still sleeping?"

I spent this evening catching up on my read through the Bible plan as I had fallen behind. Lots of things struck me - but one verse in particular was very convicting:

“'Why are you sleeping?' he asked them.

'Get up and pray so that you

will not fall into temptation.'” - Luke 22:46

I imagine if Jesus were to say something directly to me today it would go something like this:

"Sherri, why are you still looking to Facebook and watching TV shows online to fill your time? Why are you not spending time in prayer and in God's Word as you committed to do? What about those other books  you've been wanting to read? Sherri, why do you lack such discipline? As you continue to prepare for this Easter season celebrating My resurrection and victory over sin and death FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS! I love you and don't want you to be distracted by these other things."

Despite MY efforts, I have failed in my attempt to be Facebook free for the season of Lent. While I have only posted from my blog or sharing another blog I've read, I have found myself there perusing, seeing what is going on with everyone. I have found myself there wasting time when there are so many better things I could be doing. There are probably many reasons for this...

• I have tried to rely on my own strength rather than God's.
• I just really suck when it comes to discipline.
• I sometimes just want to shut my brain off and it is way too easy to get distracted by other things. 

I keep getting drawn back to what our youth pastor posted on the blog as we began our journey on this reading plan: "It's about building consistency...not perfection"  I am thankful that although God wants me to seek Him, He knows that in this human body I can not be perfect. So, I haven't kept my commitment to stay off Facebook and spend less time watching TV shows ... 

• I CAN'T undo the past.
• I CAN repent.
• I CAN accept God's grace and forgiveness.
• I CAN move on from here knowing His love isn't based on my performance.

One other verse really hit me as I read tonight:

"Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God." 2 Corinthians 7:1

Facebook and TV aren't evil in and of themselves, it is how we let them affect our lives. For ME Facebook can suck up too much time which is why I will not be downloading the app to my phone even after Easter. I also look to Facebook much too often for affirmation, acknowledgment, etc. I have had far too many situations in my life where I have been dismissed and pushed away and it causes me to look to others to be recognized. So, for me Facebook can be something that contaminates my body and spirit - the way I use it and how often I use it has to change. I need to focus on God and HIS acceptance/acknowledgment of me.

• The fact that He loves me so very much absolutely blows my mind.
• The fact that Jesus suffered so immensely for MY sin amazes me.
• The fact that He extends so much mercy and grace to me is way too much for me to fathom most days.

God is my Rock and I really need to spend more time being filled up with HIS TRUTH. I have spent most of my life listening to the lies that have been put in my head by people in my past and the enemy. Living and acting according to GOD'S TRUTH isn't going to happen over night. It's going to take time... building consistency.

And, speaking of time, I have one less hour of it tonight with Daylight Savings Time, so I suppose I should be thinking about going to bed soon. Ahh... SPRING IS COMING! I love Spring. In spite of my allergies which go crazy in the Spring... 

• I love to see the flowers blooming.
• I love to hear the birds chirping.
• I love to see the green grass and the leaves on the trees.

According to Wikipedia: "Spring and "springtime" refer to the season, and also to ideas of rebirth, rejuvenation, renewal, resurrection, and regrowth." 

This Spring I am filled with more hope than I have had in a very long time. Not too long ago I would have looked at my lack of discipline and not keeping my commitment for Lent and beat myself up. I would have listened to the lies...

• "You're no good."
• "You can't do anything right."
• You're a failure."

Instead, I look at it as a lesson, an opportunity to experience God's mercy and grace, and I look forward "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Springing ahead with hope,

Sherri