Sunday, February 10, 2013

No Words

I have been having a hard time coming up with words to express my heart. It is times like this I am thankful for the Truth of Scripture in Romans 8:26: "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." 
It's really frustrating for me because my best outlet when I am struggling is to write - whether it's my blog, journaling, poetry - when I need to get out me emotions, when I need to sort out my feelings - I write. Lately I haven't had words of my own so I have turned to the Psalms. The one that speaks closest to how I've felt is Psalm 88:

O Lord, the God who saves me,
    day and night I cry out before you.
May my prayer come before you;
    turn your ear to my cry.
For my soul is full of trouble
    and my life draws near the grave.
I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
    I am like a man without strength.
I am set apart with the dead,
    like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
    who are cut off from your care.
You have put me in the lowest pit,
    in the darkest depths.
Your wrath lies heavily upon me;
    you have overwhelmed me with all your waves. Selah
You have taken from me my closest friends
    and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
    my eyes are dim with grief.
I call to you, O Lord, every day;
    I spread out my hands to you.
10 Do you show your wonders to the dead?
    Do those who are dead rise up and praise you? Selah
11 Is your love declared in the grave,
    your faithfulness in Destruction[d]?
12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
    or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?
13 But I cry to you for help, O Lord;
    in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 Why, O Lord, do you reject me
    and hide your face from me?
15 From my youth I have been afflicted and close to death;
    I have suffered your terrors and am in despair.
16 Your wrath has swept over me;
    your terrors have destroyed me.
17 All day long they surround me like a flood;
    they have completely engulfed me.
18 You have taken my companions and loved ones from me;
    the darkness is my closest friend.

Now before I get inundated with messages about being negative or that I just need to change my attitude - let me remind you that David, the one who wrote this Psalm, was known as a man after God's own heart. Even David struggled and felt hopeless sometimes.  Just after Psalm 88 comes Psalm 89 which starts out in verses 1 and 2: "I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.  I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself."Just as David realized God's faithfulness and love, so Paul also goes on to say in Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

So, even as I am feeling empty and hopeless and with no words - I turn to the Psalms and pray along with David and trust the Spirit will intercede where I don't have words and trust that God can somehow work ALL things for good.



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